Discovering that their partner is having an affair is something that everyone dreads, but it is nonetheless a very common reality of life.
Relationships are immensely complex and difficult to navigate at both the worst and best times. We all often do what we feel is right at the moment. An affair happens to be one of those things sometimes.
If you are currently having an affair, then you are probably not as sneaky as you think when covering your tracks. In this article, we’ll cover the five most common mistakes people make when they are having an affair and how to deal with the aftermath if you have been caught being unfaithful!
Is An Affair A Mistake?
This isn’t as easy to answer as you might think! Many convincing arguments say humans are not meant to be sexually monogamous. One could even go as far as to say that it is ingrained in our biology and basic instincts.
But that doesn’t mean we should blindly follow our natural calling without regard for the repercussions. Humans have a unique ability to empathize, so always take into consideration what the consequences of your actions could be.
When you decide to have an affair, you are essentially breaking the trust between you and your partner, and in most communities, this is generally frowned upon. If you and your partner have agreed to be exclusive, this needs to be respected and upheld.
But we aren’t here to point fingers and say that you are “bad” for having an affair. It’s a fact of life; whatever drives someone to that point is entirely their business.
Top 5 Mistakes When Having An Affair
So things are a bit rocky or stale in your current relationship, and you feel that maybe you can get what you need somewhere else. You’d think that how to have an affair is pretty straightforward, but people get caught all the time! Here are the five main areas where people slip up and get caught:
Avoid Physical Evidence Like The Plague
This includes having messages on your phone, emails, letters, gifts – anything that could be caught by your partner and raise suspicion. It might be difficult because you are excited about being involved with someone new, but trust us, the less evidence floating around in the world, the better your chances of getting away with it!
Cash Is King
Many couples have joint bank accounts or have some knowledge of their partner’s transactions and budget. Try and pay for as many things as possible with cash to avoid your infidelity being splashed across your bank statements. The last thing you want is to have your credit card provider phoning your spouse about a pending payment for some extravagant purchase for your secret lover!
Try Hiding In Plain Sight
Another mistake people make is trying to be too secretive about what they are getting up to behind the scenes. This leads to a noticeable change in behavior and will raise warning flags that you are cheating.
It’s very easy to pretend that you have a work colleague who has become a friend and then mention them to friends and family. Just be careful not to mention them too much; otherwise, this can have the opposite effect!
Know Your Boundaries
You and the person you are having an affair with having your own lives, and this needs to be respected. Of course, it will be difficult not to attend birthdays and holidays or have romantic Valentine’s dinners together, but exercising restraint is crucial.
There are other ways to enjoy time with your secret partner, so make the most of those instead. Remember, an affair should be more of a physical relationship to prevent things from getting too complicated!
Have A VERY Small Circle Of Trust
Knowing who to tell that you are cheating on your partner is also important to decide. You want to tell some people you will need an alibi to rely on from time to time, but you don’t want to tell someone who moonlights as the town crier! Make sure that the handful of people you tell of your clandestine liaisons are trustworthy and can keep a secret.
Oh No! You’ve Been Caught Cheating! Now What?
What if you still get caught despite your best efforts at being secretive and discreet? What do you do then? You have broken someone’s trust, and the aftermath of being caught cheating can be very messy.
You’d think there’s no other way to fall, but, just like many things in this world, it is possible. The last thing you’d want is for things to go from bad to worse!
Cool, Calm And Collected
Emotions will run very high, which is when you need to keep a cool head. Think carefully about your responses, and don’t let your feelings get the better.
It’s also important to recognize that your partner might want time and space to process what has happened, so know when to step back and give them some breathing space. Remember, you crossed a line, so giving them that is the least you can do.
Don’t Try To Make Excuses.
The fact is that you have been caught, and you are the one who has broken their trust. This is not the time to point fingers or try to justify your actions.
It happened, and excusing it or denying it will only aggravate the situation. And let’s be honest, the last thing they want to hear is why their partner saw infidelity as a logical action at the time.
Reevaluate Your Relationship
The chances are high that more than a few things have led to the affair – from both sides. Introspection is important here to see where things went wrong and what you both want in the future.
If you still want to be together, you can work on picking up the pieces. But, you should also be prepared for the possibility that the end of the relationship might be in sight, which could be a hard pill to swallow.
Own Up To Your Mistake
Owning up to the fact that you broke someone’s trust is important to give closure to your partner and yourself. It allows you to take accountability for your actions and help you realize that there are consequences for everything you do. It might help you look inwards and realize that you could try being in an open relationship next time instead!
While we won’t exactly recommend you go out there and have an affair, hopefully, we have equipped you with some tips to use so that you avoid getting caught! Remember that having an affair is often all about the fun things you can’t do with your current partner, so enjoy it however long it lasts.
And if you get caught, don’t be that person who makes excuses instead of owning up to it.
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