Does love hurt? Well, love doesn’t hurt, it’s the person with whom you are in love with and how he treats you. No one ever wants to be in an unhealthy relationship. Where the other person is being ignored, abused and brought down again and again. Everyone expects a happily ever after in their relationships, but at this cost? Not fair, right?
Relationships evolve. There are many ups and downs, ugly fights and arguments in a relationship,. These things can be controlled for good reason up to some level. There comes a point when you need to stop holding on to those things and let them go for your own peace. Night after sleepless nights, you lie awake replaying the fights you had, you get anxious about what to do about it? Later you start questioning your worth, your character, your attitude everything. If this is what you are doing, then definitely you are in a relationship that is very toxic.
In this article, we dissect about a “toxic relationship”, what it is? what does it look like? and when to put a brake and let that relationship go.
What Is A Toxic Relationship?
Toxic Relationship is the one where you always feel drained, depleted and surrounded with negativity. In a toxic relationship, the negative behaviors contaminate your self-esteem, self-worth, the way you see yourself and everything in your life. It is that kind of relationship which can be described as like, it has gone very sour. Toxic relationship behaviors, when becomes really extreme make all the things in relationship wrong, nothing feels right in that.
Well, it isn’t like you entered a toxic relationship in the first place, even healthy relationships can become toxic due to certain reasons. Bad feelings, bad long term history, Unmet needs may start polluting your relationship and change the feelings of the person towards it. It can happen easily and it can happen to anyone and everyone.
Why Do Toxic People Do Toxic Things
In most of cases toxic people tend to thrive on control, not that healthy control, but the one which makes you feel unhappy, small, diminished and frustrated. Your partner will play around factors like criticism, judgments, oppression, just whatever it will take to keep you in place. He/She will judge your character based on your past, your current actions, your words, etc. The more you’ll try to step out of that trap, the more toxic person will bring on the toxic behavior to squash your dignity and will put you back in that tiny cage, where he thinks you belong to!
Toxic people are very smart enough, as they chose the people with a kind and open hearts, who are more likely to fight for the relationship rather than to abandon it. Whereas, non-toxic people in toxic relationships will call out for their behavior immediately and put them on the right track rather than tolerating the shit.
What A Toxic Relationship Feels Like?
Being aware of that you are in the wrong place, and still getting addicted to toxic relationship is not going to ease out your life, or save that relationship. It will only help you in loosing yourself day by day. Below given are 7 signs of the toxic relationship that will help you to decide that this is the high time to end this and let that person go.
- Your Partner Will Decide What You Will Do And What Not
Well, this comes in, when you never get to take your decisions. Your partner is the one who is taking all your important and less important decisions. Be it the dress you are going to wear, the hairstyle you keep, about hanging out with your friends, talking to anyone on phone, limiting your social media usage and many other things.
In a healthy relationship, every partner has their own rights to pursue what they want and spend time away from the other person. If your partner is having a problem when you are having fun without them, it’s a major red flag in your relationship. It is very unhealthy if he or she is restricting your freedom. Maybe he is jealous, insecure or has anxiety issues you need to take a hold of that and confront that you are not liking it.
2. They Do Not Respect You
Respect is the foundation of any healthy relationship. When you don’t get the desired respect you expect from your partner it definitely starts bothering you, and the pattern starts with your defensiveness. You start defending for your respect and your partner doesn’t give a damn about it, and simply ignores it. Well, this is another major red flag for your relationship to be toxic.
To come out of that, the first step is to respect yourself. If you will not respect yourself by taking shit from him, why will he respect you in any form? Therefore, raise the bar of your self-respect and LET HIM GO!
3. They Use Sex To Sort Things Out
When your partner uses sex to sort any argument or come out of any situation, then no sign is biggest than this. This is the major red flag, which clearly indicates that your relationship is toxic. Both of you cannot sit and talk to each other about it. He/she just express their sexual interest in you and get over with the topic, instead of understanding that. Sex isn’t going to fix anything.
It is very clear, when you are upset with your partner, due to any of the reasons you don’t feel like to have sex at that very moment. But if your partner withholds you with the sex, they are definitely manipulating you.
4. You Are Not Yourself
After a few incidents, you will realize that you’ve stopped being yourself in front of your partner. You are not able to express your feelings, thoughts, opinions, and decisions to him. You feel scared that he might scold you, or yell at you for having such thoughts, which is absolutely wrong.
You’ve got all the right to do and say what you want. You can work according to your plans, that too without discussing with him. Just think about it, does he takes your permission before going somewhere or when he takes some important decisions which include you? Never. RIght? Call out on this toxic behavior of your partner and if he doesn’t understand, let him go.
5. Missed Expectations
Missed expectations are also one of the major reasons that start making your relationship toxic day by day. Many times this happens a lot when you really expect some understanding or some specific actions from your partner that you always give but do not get back in return. When two people are in a relationship its not only your life then, it is 50-50. Your happiness, their sadness everything is shared equally in it.
In a serious relationship, you just not date and have fun with each other, a serious relationship is supposed to evolve beyond that. You commit to your time, your resources and to each other’s entire life.
6. Lack Of Communication
Communication is the key. No matter what kind of relationship is, every relationship requires proper communication. You keep calling him and he keeps avoiding or rejecting your calls. if this is the case, its high time to take a step back and think about this relationship. You don’t want to be with a person who ignores your love, your feelings, your expectations and above all of that he ignores you as a person.
As a matter of fact your partner is just not respecting you enough and not even trying to listen to you. I know, in these situations anxiety kills you. Just take a deep breath, and let go of this toxic relationship, right away!
7. You’re Not Practicing Self Care
A toxic relationship starts feeling heavy on you when you don’t practice self-care. Self-care is the best advice to get out of the toxic relationship. If your partner does not like it when you have fun with your friends or without him, better do more things without him. Let him sit back and realize what precious thing he is damaging.
Give yourself as much time you want. Surround yourself with positive people, let go of that negative energy that has got accumulated in you, because of this toxic relationship.
After reading about all the major red flags that clearly indicates that you are going through a toxic relationship. It will be quiet easy for you to figure out the pattern of your toxic relationship and will help you to get out of it easily.